A man finishing breakfast in black and white

CW/TW — parental death, mental illness, suicide, childhood sexual assault, emotional abuse

My dad is dying.

That’s all I can think when I see the skinny legs that he’s covered with layers of sweatpants and jeans, hanging limply in front of him as he sits on the ground of our driveway. His brand new walker, all shiny metal in the darkness of an Ohio winter night, is standing next to him. He’s lost the ability to walk recently due to numbness in his legs. The doctors don’t know why.

There’s a sense of tragedy that I know should be there…


Today I woke up and the entire house smelled like shit.

It was about 2AM or 4AM, I forget, as these days I am back to my habit of sleeping in two hour intervals and waking up with the concern that my father has died in his sleep. Not this time though. Instead he’s in the bathroom and the entire house smells like shit because he pooped on himself and in the process of cleaning himself off, he got the poop on the shower curtain.

I guess I should be happy as that’s an improvement from the time I found…


Doctors are considered some of the smartest people in the world because of the amount of information they have to store at any given time in their brain. They have to store that information and be able to quickly recall it. Some information is easily accessed because it happens a lot: colds, flu, minor body aches, broken bones, open wounds, signs of cancer, heart failure, lung failure, diabetes, etc.

If you wind up caregiving for someone with a rare disease like neuromyelitis optica, you’re just lucky I guess.

My father was diagnosed with NMO toward the end of 2019, just…


My dad is an addict, but his choice of drug is completely legal and consumed by millions of people every day.

Sugary soda. Or pop, if you’re from the Midwest.

My dad drinks water only to take his medication. Otherwise, he sips from a giant canteen — a gift I got him for one of his birthdays — filled with Dr. Pepper and ice. He claims that the ice in the Dr. Pepper is his water intake.

Yeah. You read that right. My dad drinks soda all day and perhaps maybe 16 oz of water to go with it. So…


Though many have made the case for increased visibility of Slave narratives, it is perhaps equally important that Black narratives not explicitly about racism and slavery are experienced. The necessity for a diversity within narratives about Black people serve to further dissipate the racist view of Black people as a monolith of negative stereotypes. And it also gives Black people a chance to watch narratives about themselves without being reminded of the pain of racism.

Moonlight (2016)

This Academy Award winning film directed by Barry Jenkins follows the story of Chiron as he grapples with his identity and queerness in…


My father, in his prime, was an extremely dedicated homeowner. And yet when I look around the house, I have to ask myself what was the point of this level of consumerism? Why are there 11 different TVs in a house where no one but him lived until this year? Why did he remodel the patio area into a somewhat enclosed seating area with four different space heaters, a speaker, a cable box, and you guessed it — a TV!

The level of consumerism is just so absurd considering his identity as a sole person in a house where all…


At the end of January, I moved back to Ohio from New York City to help with caregiving for my aging father. My annoying father. My selfish father. My father who is dying from Congestive Heart Failure and Neuromyelitis Optica. Oh, and also my dad has been completely blind since I was born, so really caregiving for my father in one way or another has been the name of the game since day one.

My father is annoying in that way that lots of elderly people become annoying: they want things the way they want things and new ways of…


While some might have considered Bong Joon-ho’s Oscar win a longshot, students of South Korea’s Modern Cinema have known for a while that Bong was a special kind of filmmaker. Bong, since his first major feature film Memories of a Murder, has always blended absurd political spectacles with the every day lives of the underprivileged. But once you’re done with Bong’s films, you might be wondering what to watch that will give you the same sharp critique of class structure and society. Below are five films sure to sate your desires.

Chilsu and Mansu (1988)

The struggles of the middle…


The temperatures are dropping, the Christmas trees are twinkling, and with the pandemic, curling up with a movie is probably the most enticing idea as a way to celebrate the season. While some of us might be reaching for the classics such as A Christmas Story, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and Die Hard, perhaps you are looking for a feel good movie that is not necessarily about Christmas. For that, I’d recommend these five films (directed, written, or both) by Hayao Miyazaki. Note: all of Miyazaki’s films are streaming on HBO Max.

Spirited Away

Perhaps Miyazaki’s magnum opus (considering…


The first thought I have after listening to Kai: The First Mini Album is a simple one.

It’s sexy.

Yes we knew it was going to be sexy, but the level of sexiness is something like the way certain moments in your romantic history stick with you long after they are over. That is to say, the Kolo, sticks with you long after it’s over.

When Kai’s solo was first announced, apart from his solid and longtime fanbase, there was a lot of skepticism because of his reputation as mainly a strong dancer. I, however, had little doubt about his…

Tara Edwards

@findtaraedwards

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